I spent nearly two decades of my life in an alcohol-fueled haze, stumbling on and off “the path,” trying to fill a void within me with counterfeit love, empty sex, and quick highs. I walked the earth disembodied, barely feeling anything below my shoulders, trying to numb the incessant anxiety and dread, unwilling to recognize these were my body’s pleading signals, begging me to listen to its wisdom. Amongst the numbness, I heeded an intuitive call to a substance-free tantra-based container, and for the first time in my life, had nowhere to hide from my shadows. I felt the deep childhood fear of abandonment, an outpouring of grief from my many years of self-abandonment, and finally, a feeling almost unrecognizable to me: peace. Bliss. Safety. The joy of being. “Fear is the mask that freedom wears,” the facilitator repeatedly echoed throughout our time together, and by the end of the experience, I recognized that statement as pure truth. With tears in my eyes and clarity in my heart, I wrote this note in my phone: “this is my purpose. This is what I’ve been searching for.”
Since then, I’ve been intuitively guided through many initiations on my path, including two 200 hour yoga + conscious leadership trainings, plant medicine journeys in the jungle, song circles around the sacred fire, temple nights, ISTA, and multiple trainings in embodied coaching, tantra, and mens work with Aaron Kleinerman (@thesoulnavigator/).
Through this winding journey, I’ve realized that the path into the heart is not an upward ascension, but rather a planting of ourselves down deep in the fertile soil, where the darkness lies, and a trust in the wisdom of our DNA to sprout us into the light, thriving in the sunshine, but fully tapped into the power and sustenance below the surface.
One of my greatest joys in life is witnessing a heart blossom open in front of me. It inevitably causes mine to bloom in response. In order for this magical phenomenon to happen, there has to be safety, presence, introspection, and an empathic witness. I am honored to create spaces for this deep healing to happen, this stripping away of all that is not truth, to allow the joy of being to bare itself in all its radiant glory.
Some of my personal hobbies and practices include yoga, chanting, breathwork, qigong, meditation, Hindu mythology, dancing, photography (you can view some here), skateboarding, and beach volleyball.