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Expression is our nature.
Expression is our medicine.
Expression is our liberation.
Expression is our contribution.
What is holding you back from your most authentic musical expression?
When we were children, our greatest joy was to sing and dance in the sunshine, blissfully unaware of anyone else’s perceptions of us, of how “good” we sounded, of how “skilled” we were. We simply sang and danced because it made us feel free.
But at some point, many of us developed stories that our expression was inadequate or not acceptable. Whether we were told our voice wasn’t good enough, or we were made fun of for the way we intuitively moved, we all have stories and harbor fear about sharing our unique expression. This fear is a powerful force, and if unchecked, can often run our lives, robbing us of our power, and preventing us from taking healthy risks that allow us to grow and experience our greatest joy. We are also often ashamed of being afraid, resulting in the discomfort of attempting to hide the fear, so that we may be perceived cool, calm and collected.
The antidote to this fear is being seen and accepted in our authenticity. But there aren’t many places where we’re allowed to show up and simply say “I’m afraid,” and where we can work through that fear in realtime in a somatic way, allowing it to release the firmness of its grip.
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”
– Brene Brown
I remember one of the first times I shared a song in a large kirtan. My hands were trembling so badly, I could barely hold the strings down on my guitar. I went to sing, and from my dry mouth came a thin whisper of the mantra I’d practiced so confidently in my bedroom the day before. I completely dissociated from my body, feeling something resembling the fear of death, instead of the joy and connectedness one might expect to feel in that moment. I did my best to conceal my nervousness so no one could see how difficult this moment was for me. And afterwards, shame and feelings of incompetency and unworthiness ran rampant through my brain.
I subjected myself to similar painful situations again and again, thinking this was the only way to improve. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t lacking anything and didn’t need improvement; I just needed to feel safe, to understand in my body that there was no actual danger in these situations, only a strong fear program running that could actually be examined and removed from the driver’s seat. From that place of safety, authentic expression will naturally blossom.
The whole time I was going through this challenging process, I wished there was an easier way. I created Songs of Spirit out of that wish. I created it to help you remember the level of joy and safety you had in your expression as a child.
What is Songs of Spirit?
Songs of Spirit is a first-of-its-kind deep dive into deprogramming your fears around speaking and singing your truth, using the medicine of sacred song.
It is a supportive small-community container that will allow you to safely learn to overcome fear, stage fright, and stiffness, and unlock the freest, most authentic expression that you were born with and knew as a child. You’ll learn to work with fear in a controlled and safe environment of compassionate community. Together we’ll deconstruct it, we’ll examine it, we’ll welcome it even, and we’ll begin to recognize it for what it truly is: an invitation from our highest self into our expansive truth.
In the process, you’ll learn a handful of heart songs, medicine songs, and mantras that you’ll be able to share in song circles or apply to your personal practice. You’ll also write your own original song based on your journal entries or personal mantras. But the biggest thing you’ll take away from this container is the ability to let your guard down, show up exactly as you are, and let people feel your raw humanness through your truthful expression. You’ll have the courage to show up as you are in any musical setting, and share from the heart.
Songs of Spirit is for you if:
- You want to learn how to sing your authentic truth unabashedly
- You have a harsh inner critic that says your expression is not enough
- You want to be able to connect to others in a genuine and vulnerable way/you want to take the mask off
- You want to reprogram your relationship with fear into an invitation, rather than something to be avoided
- You have a story that you are not musical, but you would like to be
- You want to grow rapidly through exploring your edges in a safe community
- You want to learn to lead people in song
- You want to tap into your childlike joy of expression without self-judgement
Does the thought of being seen in your unique expression in front of a group bring up a constriction in your throat, or bubble of fear in your chest?
If so, this program was designed specifically for you.
All you have to do is show up as you are, and I’ll be your attentive and safe guide the rest of the way. We’ll work directly on our edges in realtime, slowly, in safety, in front of each other as compassionate witnesses. Through this process, we’re not just healing our fears of singing; we’re reaching deep to cut the generational bonds of trauma that keep us tied to the story that we’re not enough, the story that says we have to show up as more than who we are in this moment in order to be accepted in the tribe. We’re reprogramming our beliefs that anything besides our raw authenticity is ever necessary.
“We can never reap the full rewards of life unless we are willing to risk everything, including our comfort zone.”
– Gabor Maté
Wherever you’re at – whether you’re bashful, out of tune, have a shaky voice, think you’re not skilled/musical/expressive enough, etc – is exactly how you’re welcomed to show up. No expectations or hierarchy; your willingness to be vulnerable is all that will be asked of you.
Upon completion of Songs Of Spirit, you will:
- Be comfortable leading songs in a song circle or group settings
- Know by heart a handful of songs to share, including one of your own
- Have a completely new relationship with fear, seeing it as an invitation to deeper and deeper freedom and joy
- Be in touch with your authentic expression, and watch it ripple out into all of your communication with the world
- Know how to express emotion through creativity
- Be lit up with your uncovered courage and authentic power, and be an invitation for others to step into theirs
- Be inspired and have the tools to write your own music that is true to your heart
- No longer wish to wear a mask or “perform” in front of the world
When we begin to awaken our authentic expression, we create a ripple effect in the world just by showing up in it. We light up the earth, one person at a time, through this contagious remembrance of our truth.
What’s Included:
- Weekly 2.5 hour in-person meetups with meditations, warm-ups, instruction, guided exercises, sharing, and feedback (15 hours total over the course of 6 weeks)
- Multiple guest facilitators on topics such as “writing from the heart” and “your unique expression fingerprint”
- Weekly 30 minute Q&A and feedback calls
- Video, sheet music and a Spotify playlist of all songs we learn
- Optional videos of your shares
- WhatsApp group with me and the rest of the Songs of Spirit community
- Private song circle for Songs of Spirit members
Testimonials
Ivan has been a huge inspiration for me not only in a musical world, but also on my Bhakti path.
I never played any musical instrument in my life and never thought I would, but Ivan gave me the confidence where now I can share my singing and playing in front of other people with absolutely ease.
– Natalia Hostylo
I’m thrilled to have found Ivan as my mentor in sharing songs and learning the harmonium. I’ve been to a couple of workshops that have helped me to feel more confident in expressing myself in a group setting. He is patient and encouraging with no judgment. It’s always been really healing for me going to his kirtan and workshops. Highly recommend!
– Eliza Moon
Ivan is kind, patient, and a great communicator. After only a couple lessons I’m able to fully play some songs that offer great opportunities to explore the edges of my abilities.
Most importantly, the lessons with Ivan have been really fun ✨… and I tend to learn best and practice more if it’s fun!
– Dr. James Stang
Schedule and Sample Session
We’ll meet weekly, Wednesday nights from 7-9:30PM, from October 9th until November 16th. Full participation is encouraged and recommended, but students are welcome to arrive late, leave early, and skip sessions as required by their schedule.
We’ll also have a weekly 30-minute optional Zoom call for Q&A and shares – day/time will be decided based on group availability.
Below is an example of what a Wednesday night session might look like (subject to change):
- Welcome, grounding, meditation
- Brief lecture on this week’s theme (Guest facilitator lecture when applicable)
- Group icebreaker/warmup exercises to create safety
- Partner breakout exercises
- Learn a song as a group (or write one)
- Individual creative shares, real-time discussion and feedback
- Closing and weekly homework
Ready to sign up?
Looking forward to the magic we can create together through trust, vulnerability, and a remembrance of our natural joy through song! Pricing is as follows:
Earliest bird
Until Tuesday,
September 24th
$333
Early bird
Until Wednesday,
October 2nd
$388
General
Until Tuesday,
October 8th
$444
You can use the button below to checkout, or Venmo @ivan-durst $444. To request a payment plan or partial scholarship, please email me.
Questions?
I’m happy to answer any questions or concerns, or to hop on a call to see if you’ll be a fit for this program. Please email me here.
Q&A
- Can I come to just one of the weekly classes?
- No. Commitment to the entirety of the container is required (skipping sessions due to schedule conflicts or other issues is ok – see below).
- What if I miss a class?
- I will provide audio recordings for each class in our WhatsApp group. I will do my best to get you caught up if you miss anything crucial.
- Will I write my own song?
- You will be guided in writing your own original composition (song or poem) that can be shared in circles, at open mics, and so forth!
- I have exactly zero musical experience / I can’t sing on pitch / I have no rhythm. Am I welcome here?
- You are 100% welcome here exactly as you are. There is no hierarchy, and no expectations of any level of proficiency. A willingness to show up and be vulnerable is all that is required.
- How is safety created?
- Through a slow pace, somatic exercises that get us out of our mind, and through invitations to express your unique needs so that they can be met.
- I have a deep-seated fear of expressing with my voice / I’ve been told I’m a bad singer / My voice shakes when I try to sing. Is this for me?
- This is especially for you. We will all create deep safety and hold space for the gentle but swift reprogramming of these beliefs for each other.
About Me
I spent nearly two decades of my life in a fear-driven alcohol-fueled haze, stumbling on and off “the path,” trying to fill a void within me with counterfeit love, empty sex, and quick highs. I walked the earth disembodied, barely feeling anything below my shoulders, trying to numb the incessant anxiety and dread, unwilling to recognize these were my body’s pleading signals, begging me to listen to its wisdom. Amongst the numbness, I heeded an intuitive call to a substance-free tantra-based container, and for the first time in my life, had nowhere to hide from my shadows. I felt the deep childhood fear of abandonment, an outpouring of grief from my many years of self-abandonment, and finally, a feeling almost unrecognizable to me: peace. Bliss. Safety. The joy of being. “Fear is the mask that freedom wears,” the facilitator repeatedly echoed throughout our time together, and by the end of the experience, I recognized that statement as pure truth. With tears in my eyes and clarity in my heart, I wrote this note in my phone: “this is my purpose. This is what I’ve been searching for.”
Since then, I’ve been intuitively guided through many initiations on my path, including two 200 hour yoga + conscious leadership trainings, plant medicine journeys in the jungle, song circles around the sacred fire, ISTA, and multiple trainings in embodied coaching, tantra, and mens work.
Through this winding journey, I’ve realized that the path into the heart is not an upward ascension, but rather a planting of ourselves down deep in the fertile soil, where the darkness lies, and a trust in the wisdom of our DNA to sprout us into the light, thriving in the sunshine, but fully tapped into the power and sustenance below the surface.
One of my greatest joys in life is witnessing a heart blossom open in front of me. It inevitably causes mine to bloom in response. In order for this magical phenomenon to happen, there has to be safety, presence, introspection, and an empathic witness. I am honored to create spaces for this deep healing to happen, this stripping away of all that is not truth, to allow the joy of being to bare itself in all its radiant glory.
Some of my personal hobbies and practices include yoga, chanting, breathwork, qigong, meditation, Hindu mythology, dancing, photography (you can view some here), skateboarding, and beach volleyball.